Consensual Sex – Cheating or Rape?

cheating
I saw an episode of “Crime Patrol” on Saturday. Its been playing on my mind repeatedly ever since, forcing me to finally put it in here.
It is a real-life tale about an older girl and a younger boy falling in love, leading to a disastrous end.

Shilpa, a gorgeous 22 yr old worked for a call-centre. Roy, a teenager and a son of a police sub-inspector, had his eyes on her way to office. He offered to drop her to office and she obliged. Couple of meetings later, sweet-nothings were exchanged via messages  and eventually both of them fell in love. Little did Shilpa know what lied ahead for her. Roy once convinced her and took her to his house. He wanted to have sex with her. She wasn’t ready. She refused upfront and stormed out.
Thereafter, there was no office-drops, no messages and no calls from Roy. His intentions were clear. He just wanted to have sex. But Shilpa was in love. Her heart overpowered her mind and she offered herself for the sake of their love and relation which was supposed to head towards marriage.

After a month of getting physically involved, Roy again stopped seeing her. Apparently, his parents were against their marriage and he was a couple of years younger to her. Shilpa was heart-broken. He had never mentioned this to her before getting physical. He had clearly cheated on her, used her body, tormented her, and tore her dignity and self-respect into pieces. Shilpa wasn’t ready to take this lying down. She dint wanna let Roy do this to any other girl. So she confided in her family who stood against her like a rock. Fear of society!

She went to the police station and filed a complaint of “rape” against Roy. He was jailed. A month behind the bars and he was out on bail. His father tried all possible ways to make Shilpa withdraw her case – persuasion by love, persuasion by threat. When nothing worked, he bumped her off. Shilpa was murdered.

Did this love story had to have such a tragic end? It was incredible and heart-wrenching, sending shivers down the spine. His intentions were clear from the time she refused. He only wanted to have sex. Roy had clearly used her body like an object and then dumped her.

A monstrous question arises here. Was Shilpa right in terming this as rape? Is the judiciary justified in terming this as rape?
Definition of rape – Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration initiated against an individual without the consent of that individual.
Punishment for this gruesome offence, if proved, is minimum 7 years imprisonment.
It seemed more of cheating and misuse of trust. It could have been termed in that way. The punishment could have been something else. The end would have been something else.

What happened between the two was consensual. Roy had discontinued meeting her when she had refused. His intention was clear and obvious. She was the one gave in to his demands and offered to get physical. She was the one who went to his house and kept going for the sake of love. There was no force of any kind and clearly no sexual assault.
If it was she who was forced to exit the relation due to similar reasons (age gap/ parents dissent), would it still be called rape?

Roy being a 19 year old, would have lost his career, his youth, the precious years which would make his life. This wasn’t going to be just a 7 years punishment. He was going to be punished for life. His dad was not ready to see his son getting destroyed. According to him, shutting her off forever was the only option to save his only son. So he did it. He killed her.

Wouldn’t things be different if Shilpa had understood Roy’s obvious intentions and stopped their relation right there?
Who is to be blamed here? Shilpa, for wanting to teach Roy a lesson for outraging her modesty and tormenting her soul? Roy, for using her body as an object and then dumping her? Roy’s father, for taking that extreme step to save his son? Or the judiciary for terming this breach of trust as rape?

When such cases come out in public,  will a girl ever trust a guy who promises marriage? She’ll always have the fear of getting used and then dumped for some stupid reasons. Will a guy ever dare to get intimate before marriage? He’ll always have a fear of being termed a ‘rapist’, if due to any reason he isn’t able to fulfill the commitment. Today, people are smart enough to find loopholes and find their way out of even most stringent judicial laws.

Where is all this heading anyway? Who was right? Who was wrong? What if this was done…and so on…the questions still remain unanswered.
The only fact that has our eyes wide open and our hearts filled with empathy is that a life was lost. And two families left shattered forever….

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Warm welcome to BitesandPlaces!
My humble little blog has its own story to tell… my story… I’m gregarious being, vagabond at heart and have a monstrous appetite for food. I used to be a Human Resource professional until few years ago. To be among, with and for people was the reason I’d chosen this field.
Being in HR, I could only accomplish the ‘people’ part. I still yearned to be in those places I saw on TV and travel magazines and craved to eat all kinds of food that lulls you into coma. I didn’t want to be just a spectator anymore. I wanted to be in those pictures.
Luck smiled at me and I fell sick with an awful heart, lungs and liver disorder. Family said stay home. Rest.
Rest? Were they crazy? I grabbed this opportunity and quit my job; to pursue my passion – people, places and food.

Being on my own gave me lot of spare time for all the three.
I’m not a professional cook, but I’m mighty passionate about cooking. Although Indian, BitesandPlaces does not restrict itself to just the dishes of my country, which are toothsome beyond doubt. I’ve also tried to put together a bunch of mouth-watering and eye-pleasing recipes scattered from all parts the world. A lot of them are a tribute to my mum’s kitchen, the ones I grew up with. Few of them are a result of my experimentation and few others, borrowed from my generous friends 🙂

I religiously follow Andrew Zimmern’s favorite quote – what looks good to your eyes, EAT IT!! After all food is something that follows no boundaries, isn’t it.

Travel, I believe, is about exploring new places, meeting new people, building new relations, soaking in their culture, gorging on their cuisines, discovering their stories and of course, capturing all of these in my teeny-tiny camera.

After having been there and done that, I was inspired to share my travelogues with you, encourage you to travel and in some way find a bit of your happiness through me.
Thus BitesandPlaces was born!

Life’s a journey and people, places and food are all a part of it. So, come along with me and eat your way through this journey called Life…

I like staying connected. And it’ll be a frosting on my cake if you drop a line or two at natasha@bitesandplaces.com.

Celebrate Life!!!
Natasha Gracious

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